The story of Diwaali

How does an American Born Confused Desi explain to his younger brother the
topic - When and how did Diwali begin? This is how he goes about it...



So, like this dude had, like, a big cool kingdom and people liked
him. But,like, his step mom, or somethin', was kind of a bitch, and she
forcedher husband to, like, you know, send this cool dude, he was
Ram, to some national forest or reserve or somethin'.

Since he was going, for like, somethin' like more than 10 years or
so, he decided to take his wife and his bro along. You know... so
thatthey could all chill out together. But dude, the forest was
reeeeeealscary shit, really man, they had monkeys and devils and
shitlike that. But this dude, Ram, kicked their ass with darts,
bowsand arrows, so it was fine.


But then some bad gansta' boys, some jerk called Ravan, picks up his
babe(Sita) and lures her away to his hood. And boy, were our man,
andhis bro Lakshman, pissed! And you don't piss this son-of-a-gunz
'coz, he just kicks ass and like, all the gods were with him. So
anyways, you don't mess with gods.


So, Ram and his bro get an army of monkeys. Dude, don't ask me how
theytrained the damn monkeys, just go along with me, OK. So, Ram, Lakhs,
andtheir monkeys whip this gansta's ass in his own hood. Anyways, by
now, their time's up in the forest and anyways, it gets kinda boring. You
knowno TVs or malls or shit like that. So, they decided to hitch
backhome.


His bro and the wife are backhome. People thought, well, you know,
atleastthey deserve somethin' nice and they didn't have any bars
andclubs in those days. So they couldn't take them out for a drink,
sothe people decided to smoke or shit. And they also had some
lamps, they lit the lamps too.


So it was pretty cooool... you know with all those fireworks really,
theyhad some local band play along with the fireworks, and you know
what, dude, that was the very first, no kidding, that was the very
firstmusical-synchronized fireworks. You know, like the 4th of the July
stuff, but just more cooler and stuff, you know. And, so dude, that
washow, like, this festival started.



Cool!!! Diwali Rocks Maaaan!