Play It Straight

The New York Times > Opinion > Op-Ed Contributor: "The subject of same-sex marriage arose twice during the debates, and on both occasions the Democratic nominees began their remarks by mentioning that Mary Cheney, Vice President Dick Cheney's daughter, is a lesbian. When John Edwards did this at the vice presidential debate last week it seemed merely peculiar, the kind of slip common when politicians speak spontaneously. But then, during this week's final presidential debate, John Kerry did precisely the same thing.

This is no coincidence. It's a tactic. What is the goal?

It is certainly not to "out" Mary Cheney. She is openly gay, and Mr. Cheney talks about her when it is politically advantageous - say, once every four years. In Davenport, Iowa, last August, when asked about gay marriages, the vice president said, "Lynne and I have a gay daughter, so it's an issue our family is very familiar with." So Mr. Kerry and Mr. Edwards can't be accused of invading the Cheneys' privacy; there's no privacy to be invaded.

Another explanation may be that the Democrats are just personalizing the issue, putting a human face on an otherwise abstract controversy. Yet there are about six million openly gay people in America, other than Mary Cheney, whom the Democrats could have selected to humanize the issue. (Have they never heard of Martina Navratilova? Did they really miss Rosie O'Donnell's wedding?) Or the Democrats may simply be trying to point out that homosexual desire transcends party lines, that there are gay Republicans as well as gay Democrats. The underlying assumption of this message - we don't have all the gay people, they have some too - is hardly benign.

The best spin for the Democrats is that they're using Mary Cheney to paint their opponents as hypocrites: Republicans feign acceptance of all people, trot their own daughters out to demonstrate their fairness, then propose that the Constitution be amended to deny equal rights to same-sex couples. They want to have it both ways.

This is a valid point - but neither Mr. Kerry nor Mr. Edwards made it. They didn't call Republicans hypocrites. They didn't draw the contrast between the vice president's support for his daughter and his support for the president's policies.

Maybe they think it is unfair to use opponents' family members in this way. By simply mentioning her name without explaining her relevance, however, the Democrats are also treating Mary Cheney unfairly, reducing her to a non sequitur. Perhaps their reluctance stems from the fact that the Democrats, like the Republicans, also want to have it both ways. True, they oppose a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage and support federal nondiscrimination laws and state domestic partnership systems. Yet they are not willing to proclaim their positions too loudly.

If they were, then maybe John Kerry or John Edwards would have stated the obvious point about the vice president: he doesn't support equal rights even for his own daughter.

William B. Rubenstein is a professor of law at U.C.L.A. and chairman of its Williams Project on Sexual Orientation Law and Public Policy."