Review: MTV's "Cribs": Mariah Carey

Review: MTV's "Cribs": Mariah Carey by stephaniekaybuell - BLUE MAG: "The ultimate episode of MTV's 'Cribs' was, without a doubt, the showcase of Mariah Carey's New Jersey state sized penthouse. It takes the cake as the most lavish, ego centric, neurotic exhibit of "bling-bling" yet on MTV Cribs. It wasn't the grotesque letter 'M's scrolled into the parquet flooring, or the private pink beauty salon, or warehouse of high-heeled, death inducing stilittos. Though one might be impressed by her ownership of Marilyn Monroe's piano, vision-blurring use of butterfly wall paper, and her recreation of Rodeo Drive which she calls her "wardrobe," the most jaw-dropping element of the episode was her frightful display of whoredom.

Take for example the opening shot: Mariah opens the door to her pink playland atop a New York skyscraper in a tiny brown dress that revealed gads of skin, her belly button, and sagging cleavage. This was only the beginning of the exhibitionalism. She pranced around in lingerie (pink, of course) from her "lingerie closet", adding that she rarely wears clothes at home. Mariah striped to a towel to splashed seductively and blow bubbles at the camera in her jacuzzi scattered with rose petals. She modeled slinky items from her wardrobe, rolled around in butterfly pajamas in bed, and climbed her stairmaster in black stilettos heels. All the twirling, swiveling, and unabashed flashing was admiringly stupifying--forcing one to question if this is a private residence or a brothel.

The specticle of boobage and ass was especially enduring given Mariah's simultaneous displays of neuroticism. For instance, she egotistically requested her office manager demonstrate how Mariah looks when she asleep, and hysterically laughed as her dog attacked and mauled her cat. Later in the episode, batting eyelashes at the camera with sweet hypocriscy, Mariah explained that she wasn't going to allow the camera in her bedroom because it was too "private."

The shining neuroticism added to the flaunting of baked skin, and sickening pink decor was mesmerizing. All other Crib's episodes of greased up cars, flat screen TVs above gaugantuan beds, and exotic fish tanks simply can't compare to Mariah Carey's insane boobage on parade. "