Check em out, kay? But not on Google

IHT - NYT: "In the haphazard world of instant messaging and dashed-off e-mail messages, where "kk" isn't a typographical error but just the latest bit of Internet slang (it stands for "kays," or "O.K."), does anyone really care about style and grammar anymore?

Google does. Taking the stance that slang and unorthodox usage and punctuation create a less straightforward searching experience, Google's AdWords division, which is responsible for the contextual ads that appear alongside search results, insists on standard English and punctilious punctuation. Cater to teenagers hooked on text messaging? This is a world with no "dealz 4 u." To those who say, "Grammar, schmammar, this is advertising, after all," Google might suggest: "'Schmammar' is not a word. Try 'Forget about grammar' instead."

The e-mail message said my ad text "includes phrases that do not meet our grammar requirements." The offending phrase was "check em out." Google suggested replacing it with "check them out." All I could do was laugh. Since when does anyone care about grammar and style on the Web? Would my little colloquialism really bring so much chaos to the searching experience of Googlers?

From Google's point of view, the answer is "yes." Clarity is more important than tone.

I consulted a leading prescriptivist, Robert Hartwell Fiske, author of "The Dictionary of Disagreeable English: A Curmudgeon's Compendium of Excruciatingly Correct Grammar." This is a man who does not confuse "lay" and "lie," a man who describes as "boneless" those who too readily expand their lexicon to include misusages. Yet Fiske shrugs at sloppy usage in advertising.

Advertising breaks language conventions on purpose. For example, the slogans "Think Different" and "Got Milk?" imply a product (and a customer) with a funky willingness to break the rules. Google maintains an in-house style guide, which it says is a living document, expanding over time to include neologisms and pop-culture references.

Overture, which feeds search-related ads to its parent company, Yahoo, as well as to MSN Search and AltaVista, also has an official editorial policy. Like Google, Overture does not allow excessive punctuation, gratuitous symbols or the use of unjustifiable superlatives like "best" or "tastiest," nor does it permit the use of words in all capital letters, unless they are trademarked that way.

Ads are reviewed as they are submitted, and the Denver papers do so without an official style guide. Like many papers, The Post and The News have policies regarding libel, slanderous content and offensive language, but otherwise do not pull ads unless they are impossible for readers to understand.

Google's style guide applies only to advertising and not to any other aspects of Google's services, like search results, titles indexed on Google Scholar, or items found for sale at the Froogle shopping site. These listings are automatically produced by the software known as Web crawlers, so none are checked for grammar, spelling, usage or compliance with any sort of punctuation or capitalization guidelines.

I found 723 results for the offending phrase "check em out" on Froogle.

Of course, trademarks are sacred and Google does not ask advertisers to modify the spelling of their products, services or names. If so, it might have to begin with itself. As millions of millions of people have probably forgotten, the correct spelling of the word that gave birth to the company's name is "googol."