Bush Lays Off Congress; will Outsource

Bush Lays Off Congress; will Outsource

By Jay Slupesky
Washington - Citing the growing cost of running the Federal
government and the need to cut costs in order to reduce the budget deficit,
President Bush announced today that he was laying off all 535 members of
Congress and transferring lawmaking operations to a legislative support center
in
Bangalore, India. 'Hey, outsourcing is the way to go these days,' said Bush at
an
impromptu news conference where he announced the decision, adding, 'the
American people want to see less government waste. Since every one of those
ex-Congressmen had a salary of $150,000, this move will cut our costs by over
$80
million per year, and that's not even counting what we'll save on health
insurance and retirement plans.' Sources indicate that the Indian replacements
will be
paid approximately $250 per month.

The outcry from the newly laid-off Senators and Representatives was swift.
Ex-California Senator Diane Feinstein said, 'This is absolutely outrageous. How
can a bunch of replacements over in India run Congress? What do they know
about filibusters and committee hearings?' As she was being escorted out of the
Hart Senate Office Building by U.S. Capitol Police officers, Feinstein
complained that the newly-terminated lawmakers were only given ten minutes to
clean out
their desks and leave the building.

'I think it's a great idea,' said Vice P"